Tuesday 22 July 2025

Dear Precious Person,

My client Susan (not her real name) now in her mid-fifties, had been battling emotional eating for as long as she could remember. It had caused her untold stress. When we identified first her 'why' for her health goals and then reframed her approach to 'sweet things', I knew we were onto something. The recognition of what really matters to her brought immense relief and a new approach to her 'kryptonite' set her on a path toward her goal.

In her inspiring book, The Upside of Stress, Kelly McGonigal shares her phenomenal research that stress isn’t inherently a bad thing. It is our perception of it that is the difference between it acting as a motivator or a deterrent. That means the way we think about a challenge determines the outcome, not the challenge itself.

When I was a child, my dad would say: “it is mind over matter, if you don’t mind it doesn’t matter”. The wisdom in that statement has stayed with me. On several levels the truth is profoundly held in those simple words. Training our minds becomes as important as training our bodies. And in fact when I’m training for cross-country I definitely experience the impact of my mind on my performance. When I gave birth at home to our daughter in my early 40’s, I was immensely grateful for my athletic background as it showed me in such a powerful way what a positive expectation mind-set could deliver. Something as simple as an approach of being excited going into the unknown rather than stressed and avoiding it, can profoundly shift your experience and even the physical outcome of a challenging event.

The Opposite of Stress is Joy!

“It is mind over matter”, potentially has a few levels of interpretation. It could be: ‘if you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter’, i.e. if you don’t focus on the discomfort, you can get through it with greater ease. The next layer of that is, that if you aren’t intentional with your thoughts or choices or behaviour i.e. you don’t pay attention to or bring awareness to or remain fully present and mindful, you may end up just repeating thoughts, and behaviours that do not serve what really matters to you. We choose our emotions, and we choose our actions. We need to choose to be intentional about it.

So, for these next two weeks, set your intention for what matters most. Choose one aspect that you want to be intentional about. Not your hardest goal, something within reach. See what needs some attention. Is it better hydration, cutting sugar, introducing a morning walk, going to bed a little earlier or spending less time scrolling? Choose one goal, and a specific action for it. And know that you will most likely be tested in your resolve. So put mind into what matters and then don't mind the challenge, so the matter becomes easier. Cue, big smiley emoticon : ). What you may find is that if you get that one thing mostly right, think 80/20, you boost your capacity to attain harder goals. And you let yourself know, that you CAN. What happens if it is hard? Then simply reset and go again. And if you need additional support and accountability consider getting some health coaching.

I encourage you to try the following to ignite your power to experience more joy over the next two weeks:

Breathe out deeply and sigh: That's right, sighing a contented sigh at the end of a nice deep exhale, relieves tension, and signals the nervous system that you are safe to let go of any negative stress. Add a smile and neural pathways for joy and relaxation (bringing rest and digest online) are further activated. Or as horses would, blowing through your lips. It sends a powerful message to the body that you can relax. A few of those each day and your experience of the day shifts.

Play in the dirt: You don't need to have a garden or even to go outdoors to be able to play in the dirt! Even an indoor plant growing in lovely, well-composted soil has life giving properties way beyond osmosis. Healthy, unpoisoned soil has beneficial bacteria that when our skins come into contact with it, brings healing and strengthening of the immune system. Next time someone asks you what you want for your birthday, ask for a peace fern, they do really well inside.

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Mindful speaking, mindful listening: It is as important that we speak words that encourage our minds and those around us as it is to listen to that which is life-giving. Swop a 1/2hr scroll on social media for an inspiring podcast or a few pages from a beloved book. I have been loving the Heroic app's daily Philosopher's Notes - a 20min summary of some great book, 'more wisdom in less time'. I have found it very uplifting.

We don't have to go it alone. As humans we were designed for relationship and community. Asking for help is a strength. Being deeply listened to sets us free to be more than we ever imagined.

Hit reply and share with me: When last did you bring real attention to your breath? If you could build one new healthy habit, what would it be? Here’s wishing you a fortnight of calm connection and joy!

Mearas Whisper Health & Wellness

Through health coaching and also equine facilitated counselling and wellness, I help busy professionals who have lost their joy, reclaim their energy and calm to enjoy life every day.

When you are ready to have your joy back and take control of your health and well-being, book a complimentary Stress & Energy Breakthrough Coaching Session to get support to achieve what matters most NOW. Let's help you shine your light brightly.

E-mail mearaswhisper@gmail.com Call/WhatsApp +27(0)833626057

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